first of all when it comes to seeds you need to start with fresh stock of good genetics to get consistent germination rates.
in my opinion presoaking is an altogether unecessesary practise and especially isn't recommended for beginners..its too much stress on them at the most crucial point of their lives.
also the tapwater your soaking in has chlorine in it..the paper towel has bleach in it as well...
even with low ppm spring water its not worth the cost of the water.. best to start
directly in your medium.
My remedy or preference would be to start seeds directly in peat pods, rockwool cubes or your soil mix in a small 4 inch pot. Only using the ripe seeds the immature seeds are likely not worth your soil.
and dont be so hard on yourself.. its more about science than luck.